NO LAUGHING!
I HATE CHILDREN!
FREDDIE, YOU KNOW
THIS SCHOOL HAS A STRICT RULE
AGAINST TURNING YOUR LOCKER INTO
A TIME MACHINE.
IT'S A
SURVEILLANCE SYSTEM.
FOR?
SOMEONE SNUCK INTO
MY LOCKER YESTERDAY AND STOLE
MY FRUIT-SCENTED MARKERS.
SO THE NEXT TIME SOMEONE BREAKS
IN, IT'LL TRIGGER THIS MECHANISM
WHICH CAUSES THIS CAMERA TO SNAP
A PICTURE OF THE THIEF, SO I'LL
KNOW THAT YOU TOOK MY MARKERS.
SORRY. I FORGOT TO
TELL YOU.
HOW'D YOU PICK
MY LOCK? SAM.
OF COURSE. HEY, WHERE'S THE
TANGERINE ONE?
I'M NOT SURE.
HMM.
SO WHAT DID YOU
NEED THE MARKERS FOR?
TO MAKE THAT POSTER.
OH, YEAH. iCARLY
50th WEB SHOW SPECTACULAR.
COOL. SPREADING THE WORD.
AND THE SMELL OF
FRUITS.
THERE. IT'S UP. CAN
YOU BELIEVE WE'RE ABOUT TO SHOOT
OUR 50th WEBCAST OF iCARLY?
INSANE.
WE GOTTA MAKE IT,
LIKE, OUR BEST SHOW EVER.
NO DOUBT.
HEY, JACK, GO LONG.
OKAY.
OH, MY GOD. iCARLY'S
HAVING A 50th WEB SHOW
SPECTACULAR?
YEAH!
IN 5, 4, 3, 2...
[GIRL VO SINGING[ I KNOW YOU SEE
SOMEHOW THE WORLD WILL CHANGE
FOR ME AND BE SO WONDERFUL,
LIVE LIFE, BREATHE AIR,
I KNOW SOMEHOW WE'RE GONNA GET
THERE, AND FEEL SO WONDERFUL,
IT'S ALL FOR REAL,
I'M TELLING YOU JUST HOW I FEEL,
SO WAKE UP, THE MEMBERS
OF MY NATION,
IT'S YOUR TIME TO BE,
THERE'S NO CHANCE UNLESS YOU
TAKE ONE, AND IT'S TIME TO SEE
THE BRIGHTER SIDE
OF EVERY SITUATION
SOME THINGS ARE MEANT TO BE,
SO GIVE YOUR BEST
AND LEAVE THE REST TO ME,
LEAVE IT ALL TO ME,
JUST LEAVE IT ALL TO ME.
THIS GIRL
IS A MENACE. I WANT HER
EXPELLED.
WHAT?
I WANT
HER EXPELLED.
WHAT?
HE WANTS ME EXPELLED.
MR. HOWARD, COME
ON. I REALIZE IT WAS WRONG OF
SAM TO THROW A FOOTBALL IN THE
HALLWAY.
SHE ALMOST
KILLED ME!
YEAH, ALMOST.
I WANT
SOMETHING DONE ABOUT THIS.
I UNDERSTAND,
SORT OF. SAM, YOU DID BREAK THE
RULES, SO I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU
DETENTION WITH MR. HOWARD
TOMORROW NIGHT.
FINE. I'LL BE THERE
TOMORROW--WAIT. I CAN'T DO IT
TOMORROW NIGHT.
WHY NOT?
I DO A WEB SHOW.
YES. iCARLY.
iCARLY?
YEAH. TOMORROW NIGHT'S
OUR 50th WEBCAST AND IT'S GONNA
BE, LIKE, A BIG THING, YOU KNOW?
MR. FRANKLIN, SOME
NINTH GRADE BOYS ARE GIVING
GIBBY A TEXAS WEDGIE.
A TEXAS
WEDGIE? ALL RIGHT. MEET ME THERE
WITH A BAG OF ICE AND A BOTTLE
OF LOTION. MR. HOWARD, YOU
FINISH UP HERE.
WAIT. JUST DON'T GO--
YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU LOOK
BETTER WITH THAT THING ON YOUR
FACE.
BE QUIET.
OKAY, BUT CAN I PLEASE
DO DETENTION NEXT WEEK?
WHAT, YOU THINK
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE ON A POPULAR
WEB SHOW THAT YOU DESERVE SOME
SPECIAL TREATMENT?
YEAH.
WELL, TOUGH
KUMQUATS.
TOUGH WHAT?
OW! KUMQUATS!
KUMQUATS?
WHY'D YOU HAVE TO
GET DETENTION TOMORROW NIGHT?
YEAH, WAY TO GO,
SAM. YOU JUST RUINED iCARLY'S
50th WEB SHOW SPECTAC--OOH,
POPCORN.
I READ POPCORN'S ONE
OF THE HEALTHIEST SNACKS YOU CAN
EAT.
I READ THAT, TOO.
WHOA, WHOA. WHAT IS THAT?
TWO CUPS OF MELTED
BUTTER.
DON'T POUR THAT
ALL OVER THE POPCORN.
IT'S FULL OF FAT AND
CALORIES.
OKAY.
DON'T DRINK IT.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
GO TALK TO MR. HOWARD AND
EXPLAIN THAT IT'S iCARLY'S 50--
TRIED THAT. DIDN'T
WORK. HEY, WHAT IF WE KIDNAP
HOWARD AND KEEP HIM TIED UP TILL
AFTER THE SHOW?
OKAY, WHAT HAVE I
TOLD YOU ABOUT KIDNAPPING?
IT'S ILLEGAL AND RUDE.
GOOD GIRL.
I'M HOME.
WHERE WERE YOU?
DOWN AT THE GOLF
COURSE GETTING GOLF BALLS OUT OF
THE BIG POND.
WHAT FOR?
SO I CAN SELL
'EM AND BUY ART SUPPLIES FOR MY
NEXT SCULPTURE.
WHAT WILL IT BE?
A GIGANTIC COFFEE
CUP, LIKE 10 FEET TALL.
WHY?
TO SYMBOLIZE
THE LARGENESS OF SOME COFFEE
CUPS. THEY'RE BIG. I'M GONNA
TAKE A SHOWER.
HAVE FUN.
SO WHAT DO WE DO
ABOUT iCARLY?
WE GOTTA FIGURE A
WAY TO GET SAM OUT OF DETENTION.
NOT GONNA HAPPEN. MR.
HOWARD HATES MY GUTS.
MAYBE ME AND CARLY
NEED TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO GET
INTO DETENTION.
HEY!
WHAT?
iCARLY LIVE FROM
DETENTION.
INTERESTING.
YOU'RE SERIOUS?
SURE. YOU AND I DO
SOMETHING BAD, WE GET DETENTION,
THEN THE THREE OF US WILL BE
TOGETHER TO DO THE SHOW.
HOW CAN WE DO THE
SHOW WITH MR. HOWARD WATCHING US
THE WHOLE TIME?
HE HARDLY EVER COMES
IN THE ROOM. HE ALWAYS HANGS
IN THE TEACHER'S LOUNGE SO HE
CAN WATCH THE GEOMETRY CHANNEL.
HE'S SUCH A NUB.
THE NUBBIEST.
OKAY, LET'S DO IT.
AWESOME. SO TOMORROW
BEFORE SCHOOL ENDS, YOU AND I
HAVE TO GET DETENTION.
YEP.
YOU'LL NEVER GUESS
WHERE I FOUND THIS FISH.
HEY.
HELLO, SAM.
WHY DO YOU LOOK ALL
GUILTY?
I DID SOMETHING
BAD TO GET DETENTION.
WHAT DID YOU DO?
YOU'LL SEE.
ALL RIGHT,
CLASS, EVERYONE PLEASE SIT.
HEY, GIBBY, GO ASK
MR. PALLADINO TO STAPLE THOSE
TOGETHER.
WHAT FOR?
JUST DO IT!
GO!
HEY, MR. PALLADINO,
CAN YOU STAPLE THESE PAPERS
TOGETHER?
CERTAINLY,
GIBBY.
THAT'S ODD. I DON'T SEE THE
STAPLER ANYWHERE.
I HAVE IT.
WOW. YOU ARE A MANIAC.
I'M SORRY,
GIBBY. I CAN'T FIND THE STAPLER.
THAT'S RIGHT, 'CAUSE I TOOK IT.
AH, YES.
THANK YOU, FREDDIE.
THERE YOU ARE, GIBBY.
HERE.
KEEP 'EM.
ALL RIGHT, KIDS.
THE SOONER WE START, THE SOONER
WE FINISH. SO EVERYBODY, LET'S
TAKE YOUR SEATS.
AAH!
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CHAIR?
I DID IT WITH
WHATEVER THIS IS. DO I GET
DETENTION?
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
AN ON-THE-JOB ACCIDENT MEANS
THE SCHOOL HAS TO GIVE ME A TWO
MONTH PAID VACATION WHILE I
RECOVER. BYE!
DUDE, THIS IS THE
PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE.
I KNOW. I'M SO
BAD. LOOK WHAT I DID.
FREDDIE SAYS
PRINCIPAL FRANKLIN...
SUCKS EGGS.
IMPRESSIVE. THAT MIGHT
GET YOU DOUBLE DETENTION.
YEP. WHEN
PRINCIPAL FRANKLIN SEES THAT,
YOU BETTER BELIEVE HE'S GONNA--
COME ON, CARLY.
IT'S FOR THE 50th WEB SHOW
SPECTACULAR. YOU CAN DO THIS.
WHO PULLED THAT
FIRE ALARM?
IT WAS ME.
THANK GOODNESS
YOU DID. THE MICROWAVE IN THE
TEACHER'S LOUNGE JUST BURST INTO
FLAMES.
OUT OF THE WAY!
WHO KNEW GETTING IN
TROUBLE WOULD BE SO IMPOSSIBLE.
I GOTTA GIVE YOU
CREDIT, SAM. YOU MAKE IT LOOK
EASY.
YEARS OF PRACTICE.
HEY, THANKS FOR THAT FIRE ALARM.
YOU SAVED ME FROM GIVING AN ORAL
REPORT ON SCARLETT'S WEB.
YOU WERE TOO LAZY TO
READ THE BOOK?
I WAS TOO LAZY TO SEE
THE MOVIE.
NOW WHAT? WE'RE
SUPPOSED TO DO THE 50th WEBCAST
OF iCARLY FROM DETENTION IN
FIVE HOURS AND SAM'S THE ONLY
ONE THAT'S GONNA BE THERE. WHY
IS IT SO HARD TO GET DETENTION?
WHO SLAMMED
THAT LOCKER?
ME.
DETENTION! TONIGHT!
REALLY? YAY!
YAY?
DARN.
YOU DID IT.
YEAH, BUT WE STILL
NEED OUR TECH PRODUCER AND
SCHOOL'S OVER IN THREE MINUTES.
HOW AM I GONNA GET
DETENTION IN THREE MINUTES?
YOU BETTER, OR ELSE NO
SHOW TONIGHT.
YEAH. UH-HUH.
WAIT HERE.
I DON'T MIND
STOPPING BY CRUSTY CREME. I--
YOU HEARD I GOT THE NEW PEAR
PHONE. YEP, THESE BABIES ARE
INDESTRUCTIBLE.
HELLO, HONEY. I'M BACK.
YES, I WILL PICK UP THE DONUTS.
MM-HMM.
MAN, SCHOOL'S OVER.
AND YOU DIDN'T GET
DETENTION.
WHICH MEANS NO
iCARLY 50th WEB SHOW
SPECTACULAR.
IT COULDN'T BE WORSE.
YES, IT COULD.
HOW?
WE COULD BE GIBBY.
THEY GAVE ME ANOTHER
TEXAS WEDGIE.
MAN, WHEN SPENCER SAID
HE WAS BUILDING A GIGANTIC CUP
OF COFFEE, HE WASN'T KIDDING
AROUND.
WHERE IS SPENCER?
HEY, SPENCER!
I'M HERE.
IS THAT THING FILLED
WITH COFFEE?
JUST ABOUT 500
GALLONS.
THAT'S CRAZY.
IT'S OKAY. IT'S
DECAF.
OKAY, BUT WHY ARE YOU
IN THERE?
'CAUSE AFTER I
FILLED IT WITH COFFEE, I DROPPED
MY CELL PHONE IN HERE. BEEN
TRYING TO FIND IT FOR THE PAST
TWO HOURS. WISH ME LUCK.
I FIGURED OUT A
WAY FOR US TO DO iCARLY TONIGHT.
IS THAT A 10 FOOT
TALL COFFEE CUP?
10-FOOT-2
I'M NOT GONNA ASK.
JUST TELL US HOW
WE'RE GONNA DO THE SHOW TONIGHT.
ALL RIGHT. IS
THERE A CLOSET IN THE CLASSROOM?
YEAH.
YOU GUYS CAN HIDE
MY TECH EQUIPMENT IN THERE SO
MR. HOWARD WON'T SEE IT.
BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU?
YOU CAN'T BE IN THERE
UNLESS YOU HAVE DETENTION.
YOU SAID HE'S
ALMOST NEVER IN THE ROOM 'CAUSE
HE'S WATCHING THE GEOMETRY
CHANNEL IN THE TEACHER'S LOUNGE,
RIGHT?
YEAH.
SO AS SOON AS HE
CHECKS ROLL AND LEAVES, YOU GUYS
GIVE ME A SIGNAL AND I'LL SNEAK
IN THE WINDOW.
BUT THE CLASSROOM'S
ON THE SECOND FLOOR.
YOU CAN BORROW MY
LADDER.
AWESOME.
YOU GOT DETENTION?
SHOULD I BE CONCERNED?
NOT REALLY.
LATER.
NOW, YOU ARE ALL
HERE BECAUSE YOU ARE THE WORST
THIS SCHOOL HAS TO OFFER.
I AM HERE BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN
PUNISHMENT AND DISCIPLINE AND I
HATE YOU ALL. ALL RIGHT. I
WILL BE DOWN THE HALL IN THE
TEACHER'S LOUNGE WATCHING THE
GEOMETRY CHANNEL. WHILE I AM
GONE, THERE IS TO BE NO TALKING.
I HOPE YOU HAVE A TERRIBLE TIME.
WE'RE GOOD NOW FOR AT
LEAST 10 MINUTES.
LET'S GO.
OKAY, EVERYBODY. WE'RE ABOUT TO
START THE 50th WEBCAST OF
iCARLY. YOU GUYS INTO IT?
WHO WANTS TO BE THE
LOOKOUT FOR MR. HOWARD?
I'LL DO IT.
GO SIGNAL FREDDIE.
RIGHT.
CA-CAW.
DO IT LIKE A BIRD.
CA-CAW.
CARLY, WHAT'S THE
SIGNAL FOR MR. HOWARD'S COMING?
DIPPITY-DOO.
EVERYBODY SIT DOWN.
PULL ME IN!
TOO LATE.
DON'T--AWW.
I HEARD NOISE.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
NOTHING.
WE'RE JUST SITTING
HERE HAVING A TERRIBLE TIME.
GOOD. JUST SIT HERE
AND DON'T MOVE.
I'LL GET THE STUFF OUT
OF THE CLOSET.
I'LL GET FREDDIE.
CA-CAW.
HERE. YOU WEAR THE
CAP-CAM.
WHY?
THERE'S A CAMERA IN
IT. IF JERK-FACE COMES BACK,
FREDDIE HIDES IN THE CLOSET AND
AND WE SWITCH OUT CARLY TO THE
HIDDEN CAMERA IN YOUR HAT.
COOL.
I FELL ON A SHRUB.
COAST CLEAR?
ALL CLEAR.
THEN WE ARE LIVE
ON THE WEB IN 5, 4, 3, 2...
WHY DID WE SCREAM?
BECAUSE...
IT'S iCARLY'S 50th WEB SHOW
SPECTACULAR.
IT'S TRUE.
THIS IS THE 50th
WEBCAST OF iCARLY.
AND IT IS
SPECTACULAR.
I'M CARLY...
AND I'M SAM...
AND MAYBE YOU'VE
NOTICED...
THIS ISN'T OUR USUAL
iCARLY STUDIO.
AND IF YOU HAVEN'T
NOTICED...
SCRAPE THAT CRUD OUT
OF YOUR EYES.
WE'RE WEBCASTING TO
YOU LIVE FROM OUR SCHOOL.
ROOM 29...
BECAUSE WE GOT...
TELL 'EM WHY WE GOT
DETENTION.
'CAUSE WE'RE
NAUGHTY.
DIPPITY-DOO!
YOU JUST HEARD OUR
FRIEND CLAIRE YELL DIPPITY-DOO.
WHICH MEANS THAT OUR
HORRIBLE TEACHER MR. HOWARD IS
COMING.
I GOTTA HIDE.
FREDDIE'S GONNA HIDE
IN THE CLOSET.
AND WE'RE SWITCHING
TO THE CAP-CAM.
SWITCHING TO THE
CAP-CAM.
I HAVE EARS LIKE A
HAWK. I DISTINCTLY HEARD
LAUGHTER AND I HATE LAUGHTER.
I THOUGHT YOU HATED
YOUR WIFE.
HER, TOO. NOW KEEP
YOUR MOUTHS SHUT.
ISN'T HE CHARMING?
FREDDIE, LET'S GO.
SWITCHING BACK TO
THE MAIN CAM.
WE WERE TALKING
ABOUT THE THINGS KIDS DO THAT
GET 'EM DETENTION.
WHY, LOOK. HERE'S A
GOLD MEMBER OF THE DETENTION
CLUB RIGHT HERE.
IT'S NINTH GRADER
RIP OFF RODNEY.
PLEASE CALL ME RIP
OFF.
SO HOW'D YOU GET
DETENTION?
SELLING FAKE HALL
PASSES.
NICE.
AND HOW'D YOU GET
CAUGHT?
I, UH...I
MISSPELLED "HALL."
TWO Ls.
YEAH.
OKAY, SO YOU GOT
ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY TO THE
iCARLY FANS OF THE WORLD?
YEAH. I GOT A
SPECIAL THIS WEEK ON BURRITOS.
TWO FOR SIX BUCKS.
AND DO THEY CONTAIN
QUALITY MEAT?
NO, THEY DO NOT.
AND NOW CONTINUING
WITH OUT GAME OF HANGMAN...
J.D., IT'S YOUR TURN
TO GUESS A LETTER OR SOLVE THE
PUZZLE.
ALL RIGHT, IS IT...
MR. HOWARD EATS PANTS?
CORRECT!
HE CERTAINLY DOES.
OKAY. H-O-T--
DIPPITY-DOO!
EVERYBODY HIDE!
SWITCHING TO THE
CAP-CAM.
UH-HUH.
EVERYBODY'S SO INNOCENT.
DO I SMELL BURRITOS?
I HAVE A FEELING...
WHO WROTE THIS?
WHO WROTE THIS LIE?
NEVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE HAVE I
EATEN ONE PAIR OF PANTS.
SOMEBODY GONNA CONFESS, OR DO
YOU ALL WANNA DO 200 PUSH-UPS?
PRINCIPAL FRANKLIN
SAYS YOU CAN'T GIVE PHYSICAL
PUNISHMENT IN DETENTION.
PRINCIPAL FRANKLIN.
IF YOU ASK ME, HE'S NOT EVEN FIT
TO BE IN CHARGE OF THIS SCHOOL.
HE'S WEAK. SPINELESS.
WELL, I THINK I'M JUST GONNA SIT
HERE AND STARE AT YOU GUTTER
CHILDREN UNTIL DETENTION IS
OVER. AND I THINK I'LL ADD AN
EXTRA TWO HOURS.
JUST HANG ON.
FREDDIE HAS A WAY TO GET RID OF
MR. HOWARD.
HEY, NO TALKING TO
THAT BOY'S HAT.
WESLEY, NOW.
CHECK.
WHAT IN TARNATION?
WHAT IS THAT?
STAY HERE AND SAY NOTHING.
SWITCHING BACK TO
THE MAIN CAM.
OKAY, NOW THAT
DIPPITY-DOO DONE GONE...
NEXT ON iCARLY...
LIVE FROM
DETENTION...
TURTLE RACES!
GIVE HIM A KISS.
COME ON, GIVE HIM A
KISS.
HEY! YOU THERE!
WHO ARE YOU?
STOP, YOU HOOLIGAN!
REMOVE YOUR SACK.
YOO-IE, YOO-IE,
YOO-IE, YOO-IE, YOO-IE, YOO-IE.
WE GOTTA GO.
WHO SAYS SLOW CAN'T
BE EXCITING?
YOU CAN ONLY GET THIS
STUFF AT iCARLY.COM, BABY.
HA!
A VIDEO CAMERA? TURTLES?
BURRITOS? WHAT IS GOING ON IN
HERE?
THE iCARLY 50th
WEB SHOW SPECTACULAR?
YOU'RE ALL REALLY
IN TROUBLE NOW. I AM TALKING
SUSPENSION. I AM TALKING
EXPULSION. DEPORTATION.
AND YOU CAN ALL START WITH
500 PUSH-UPS. I DON'T CARE WHAT
PRINCIPAL FRANKLIN HAS TO SAY
ABOUT IT.
YOU DON'T?
NO! I--OH, DEAR.
PRINCIPAL FRANKLIN.
WHY ARE YOU HERE?
WELL, I WAS AT
HOME, WATCHING THE iCARLY 50th
WEB SHOW SPECTACULAR.
CONGRATULATIONS, BY THE WAY. MY
KIDS AND I LOVE YOUR SHOW.
WOW.
AWESOME.
WHILE I WAS
WATCHING, I HEARD MR. HOWARD
CALL ME A WEAK, SPINELESS FOOL.
NO, NO, NO! I
SAID...UH, SWEET. STYLISH.
COOL.
IN MY OFFICE.
BUT I--
NOW.
WHY DOES EVERYTHING
ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?
SO NOW WHAT?
WELL, I SUPPOSE
MR. HOWARD HAS TORTURED YOU ALL
ENOUGH. GO HOME.
OKAY, WE'RE JUST
ABOUT DONE.
I'M SAM...
I'M CARLY...
AND I'M TED.
AND THANKS FOR
WATCHING THE iCARLY 50th WEB
SHOW SPECTACULAR.
MAY I?
SECOND BUTTON FROM THE
BOTTOM.
IT'S iCARLY'S 50th WEB SHOW
SPECTACULAR.
BYE! KEEP VISITING
iCARLY.COM. DON'T FORGET IT.
AND WE'RE CLEAR.
YEAH! WHOO!
HOW FUN IS THIS?
IT'S LIKE A JAVA
CRUISEE.
WHO WANTS MORE
COFFEE?
I DO!
THIS ISN'T WEIRD AT
ALL.
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
PEOPLESUPPORT
TRANSCRIPTION & CAPTIONING
HI, CARLY. HI, SAM.
WATCH WHAT I CAN DO.
iCARLY ROCKS.